Please come over and finish my papers that are due next week. They are already started, but since I am suffering from either severe lack of motivation or writer's block, or just anxiety about making these papers ridiculously perfect and trying to salvage my grades that have indeed suffered this quarter due to multiple external forces (i.e. a move, wedding, etc.) I can't seem to finish them.
Okay, okay, you're busy...fine. Do you think that when you are swooping down to help another floundering student you could hit the kid across from me at the table in the library with your magic club (wand...whatever) on the head so that he'll turn his terrible, and I mean terrible, and super loud music down that is blasting through his headphones and causing me to have to put on my headphones just to drown him out? I know I'm from Longview, and enjoy my fair share of country music...but that is just bad. And in my arsenal? That's right it's the Christmas with the Rat Pack CD, take that! Because it's the only thing I have downloaded on my laptop besides the Charlie Brown Christmas which is coming up next. Christmas joy coming at you all day long. I hope he pukes on my early December joyfulness (well at least when I'm not doing papers).
Of course, it's not half as annoying as the girl last week who was popping her gum while doing her math homework. I appreciate you stepping in and sprinkling some magic paper fairy dust over her head so that she fell asleep. Drool is better than popping.
Yes, I will now get back to my paper. I'll still be here in a few hours and the next couple of days though if you change your mind.
Under pressure (and loves and hugs),
The student
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